I found out from my ex that my kids are coming home for a week 6/16.
I thought it would be great to see them and maybe we could even see my Mom who has not been feeling well.
I then found out from my son they MAY have a day available for me, since they are coming home for their Uncle's Birthday party.
I should have know better by now.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Kids have left for vacation
My kids left for vacation in Atlanta on June 26th and I called them a few times on the way down to make sure everything was going OK and they were safe.
I know they made it since they sent my GPS back.
Other than that, no word on where they are.
I'm sure they will call when I am in Europe.
I know they made it since they sent my GPS back.
Other than that, no word on where they are.
I'm sure they will call when I am in Europe.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
ANOTHER GREAT FATHER'S DAY
This Father's Day, I told my kids to just go to their Grandfathers.
They normally would spend some time with me and go there anyway, so why fight it? I was used to it.
There is no 'Grandfathers Day."
It's the same at Christmas, a few hours for me on Christmas Even and then Christmas Day and the day after staying over at the in-laws.
They normally would spend some time with me and go there anyway, so why fight it? I was used to it.
There is no 'Grandfathers Day."
It's the same at Christmas, a few hours for me on Christmas Even and then Christmas Day and the day after staying over at the in-laws.
OFF THEY LEAVE FOR VACATION
My sons have decided to leave and visit their uncles this summer.
I made a mistake in the scheduling, but they still refused to change it to take four days off their trip to see my sickly Mom.
One more reason.
My relative even asked me in an email if my kids had "left me for the summer yet."
I guess everyone knows the routine.
I made a mistake in the scheduling, but they still refused to change it to take four days off their trip to see my sickly Mom.
One more reason.
My relative even asked me in an email if my kids had "left me for the summer yet."
I guess everyone knows the routine.
Monday, March 30, 2009
NOW FOR MY VACATION
Plans for my trip are coming together.
I would prefer not to go alone, but I will.
Maybe I will stay a month, maybe I won't come back.
Can't wait until July.
I would prefer not to go alone, but I will.
Maybe I will stay a month, maybe I won't come back.
Can't wait until July.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
THE FUN NEVER STOPS
I just had a 16 year old tell me as I was cleaning the house that he doesn't want to help.
Instead of pushing him through a wall like my Father would have, I calmly said, "I just want you to know that if you do nothing, you get nothing."
Much like working, if you have no job, you have no money for a place t live or a place to sleep.
Maybe that sank in, but it doesn't matter.
I have had it.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
TO LIAM;
I know you know I am angry, but since you will never talk to me, it’s useless to sit you down and explain.
We have two “conversations” every day.
1-Can I have money for lunch? (Or for something else)
2-What’s for dinner?
Every since you drank when I was away, I can’t leave the house without worrying about you may try it again; this time with more serous consequences.
With business in all industries slowing down, I will have to work harder than ever to continue to make the money that has paid for Colin’s college and allowed me to save enough cash that you will never have to worry about paying for your education.
I don’t have help. My family is 500 miles away and your Mother, even when she is sober, cannot even get here since she refuses to take a bus.
You knew you had to go to this class for months, yet you failed to do even the minimum of research so I could take you. You relied on Tyler. Have you forgotten what that has gotten you so far?
You wanted a hard drive, but if I ask you to hook up the printer, you will only go as far as reading what I send you. You won’t do anything on your own, and why should you? The printer is conveniently right next to you. Which is what you did when you first set it up, since it would have taken a little work to network it.
I will have to start to travel again as I really have no choice.
If you get in trouble again, you will have to find another place to live.
You can go to Atlanta, your Grandmother’s, wherever you would rather be.
Because I won’t live like this anymore. You don’t respect me or anything I have tried to do for you.
You treat me worse now that you ever did when you came to visit.
I remember always arguing with Mom that if I was only allowed to see you just 4 days a month, I would only get to see you on your birthday every 7 years. She never budged. The court said ever other weekend and that was it.
I know Greg is coming and, of course, they will want you to spend your birthday with them.
You don’t need to ask. Go where you want.
When you plan your vacation, just let me know when it is, so I can go somewhere and wonder how I fucked up so badly.
It will be a special vacation. I am planning to go to Europe or maybe even go to Japan one last time.
I’ll make sure to send you pictures.
We have two “conversations” every day.
1-Can I have money for lunch? (Or for something else)
2-What’s for dinner?
Every since you drank when I was away, I can’t leave the house without worrying about you may try it again; this time with more serous consequences.
With business in all industries slowing down, I will have to work harder than ever to continue to make the money that has paid for Colin’s college and allowed me to save enough cash that you will never have to worry about paying for your education.
I don’t have help. My family is 500 miles away and your Mother, even when she is sober, cannot even get here since she refuses to take a bus.
You knew you had to go to this class for months, yet you failed to do even the minimum of research so I could take you. You relied on Tyler. Have you forgotten what that has gotten you so far?
You wanted a hard drive, but if I ask you to hook up the printer, you will only go as far as reading what I send you. You won’t do anything on your own, and why should you? The printer is conveniently right next to you. Which is what you did when you first set it up, since it would have taken a little work to network it.
I will have to start to travel again as I really have no choice.
If you get in trouble again, you will have to find another place to live.
You can go to Atlanta, your Grandmother’s, wherever you would rather be.
Because I won’t live like this anymore. You don’t respect me or anything I have tried to do for you.
You treat me worse now that you ever did when you came to visit.
I remember always arguing with Mom that if I was only allowed to see you just 4 days a month, I would only get to see you on your birthday every 7 years. She never budged. The court said ever other weekend and that was it.
I know Greg is coming and, of course, they will want you to spend your birthday with them.
You don’t need to ask. Go where you want.
When you plan your vacation, just let me know when it is, so I can go somewhere and wonder how I fucked up so badly.
It will be a special vacation. I am planning to go to Europe or maybe even go to Japan one last time.
I’ll make sure to send you pictures.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Why my life is no longer a life
When I grew up, my parents did everything they could to not be with me.
My father would never drive me anywhere for anything, and as far as vacations, I remember two.
I remember them like they were yesterday. My Aunt and Uncle sitting at the kitchen table in Hack’s Point, MD and me being 8 years old, I wanted to be with them.
Except they wanted to get as drunk as possible. My Uncle would say things like, "Why do you go play marbles in traffic on Island Road," which was a four-lane highway. Real funny. Uncle Joe, the bastard of all bastards.
The second vacation was about 1968; I will never forget this one.
The world was much like it is today. Uncertainty, after a short period of hope in '64 that died with J.F.K.
After Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King were killed in '68, the U.S.S.R invaded Czechoslovakia, which made everyone predict nuclear WW3.
You would think that would be enough for a 13 year old, but my parents had more in store.
I will try to be brief and not too graphic, but they sat at that kitchen table drinking until they could barely see.
My parents kitchen table drinking had digressed to a game of finishing a bottle of whiskey, and the one who got the last drop picked whose wife he would have sex with. Not in a future rendezvous, but in the same house where I was standing, observing, not a child for long.
So, as my Uncle took my Mom upstairs, My Aunt Franny, who will always be a saint, because she at least resisted until her husband threatened her with physical violence, finally left with my Dad to go over to my Uncle's house to fulfill the drunken-black contract that Satan made sure her name was unwillingly attached to.
Being thirteen, I know what I saw, but still could not believe it, so I went downstairs and over to my Uncle's house to confirm it.
I didn't feel very loved or valued; just worthless, nor did I speak of it for years.
What worth did I have if my own parents would display such a disgusting example of low-life behavior in front of me?
So, if you fast forward to when I met my wife. I had no intention of getting married. I knew nothing about how to respect a woman or be a good parent or husband. Those lessons were not taught at my house.
After I was living with her and since she became pregnant by purposely not taking her birth control pills, Colin was born and of course, once I saw him, I could never ever leave him.
Her mother suggested putting him up for adoption since I did not want to get married, but I would never let my son go. He was mine and I loved him with all my heart, whether I was married or not.
My second son, on the other hand, was planned since it was one of the short windows in time when I was with my wife, that she didn't complain about something I was doing or missing her family.
I didn't make it any easier, since my drinking elevated with her constant complaining.
Of course, not realizing why I acted out over the years, I finally did see a psychologist in a effort to save my family, since I really did love my wife and my two perfect sons.
The therapist suggested as an exercise that I write letters to my parents which I would never mail, so I could say anything I wanted. But, as is my way, I mailed them anyway.
When I talked about the incident at Hack's Point, she denied it at first and then said, "Everybody was doing it." That made me even more angry.
I ended my letter saying "that I would appreciate the names of some of the other kids whose parents acted like that, since I could really use someone to talk to right now."
After reading the letter, she went back to denying it. My brother Danny saw things and I suspect others knew too. You can ask Danny if I am making it up.
We had moved back to her hometown and because of both of our drinking, it was decided I had to leave. Her parents bailed her out and were content to let me disappear.
I worked anywhere I could to pay for a crappy apartment and make sure I paid my child support.
When I smashed my ankle riding a bike to work because there was no other way to get there, I still made sure I took my kids to either movies or to the mall each of my precious two days to get them.
I bought them Pokémon cards and anything else I could afford.
I also went to AA meetings and slowly recovered, but not fast enough.
Her mother was now calling the shots and in her opinion, I was not worth any more chances.
I would be lying if I said there was not some enjoyment is seeing that she missed her own shortcomings while trying to remove me from the picture.
But, the inevitable divorce said I could only see my sons 4 days a month, and my ex-wife read that as the letter of the law.
Everyone else from their Aunts and Uncles, and any one of my ex- wife’s friends spent much more time with my kids, which made me live in a city I hated for kids I loved.
I could have moved to Philadelphia and maybe when they reached a certain age, you would have wanted to find me and be with me, but I tried to do what my Father didn’t do; what I thought Father’s should do.
Since those weekends rarely fell on birthdays, the mathematical chances that I would see my son’s on their birthday was every seven years, actually about once in their lifetime until age 16.
The same happened with other holidays. Thanksgiving is not a weekend, nor is the many school holidays, so I was becoming a guy named Dad who was not part of their life and that’s the way their Mom wanted it.
I paid them for report cards just so I could see them, even though the court ordered I should be given copies.
Whenever I asked for extra days, I was flatly told no. That would interfere with their family days.
My Ex also made a serious attempt to get my sons to call and treat her short-lived fiancé as their stepfather to further distance me from them.
When my Ex told me my son had picked the fiancé to help him do a soapbox derby for cub scouts, I just crumbled. She had won.
That victory was short-lived since her DUI's quickly amounted to four and no driving meant no job, no job meant she would lose custody of the kids she had drug through every drunken hook-up and numerous broken promises.
When her eventual alcoholic breakdown came, a breakdown I had warned her parents about for over two years, my sons had nowhere to go.
I was overjoyed that I had enough money to take care of them and make sure they knew they were going to college without the burden of a loan upon graduation.
What I didn’t count on was that years and years of no real contact made you want to be with the people you grew up with.
You would rather go to dinner and vacations with their Aunts and Uncles.
After two vacations where they obviously were too uncomfortable to say no to, they wanted me to act like her. Stay in my room and don't bother them.
That was what a parent was to them.
I thought I was being unduly sensitive until I researched what I thought were great vacations in Florida and also one where we would go white-water rafting.
When I presented the plan, they both passed. Just didn’t look too interesting was the answer I got.
They did ask to spend some time in Atlanta with their Aunt and Uncle during school vacation to which I gladly agreed.
I discussed a trip I planned that we could go on when they returned. Visiting Florida and even a white-rafting trip. They said they would rather not.
I remember being transported back to being a 13 year old boy whose parents could care less what he did, when they told me of the great vacation they just had with their Aunt and Uncles, which included white water rafting as well as a drive to Florida.
So, here I sit in an apartment where no one talks to me other than, “what’s for dinner,” or “I need a new computer” and have a son spending $20,000 a year on an engineering course that he was talked into by his in-laws since they claim their Dad was an engineer.
Except, he was not an engineer, just like their cousin is not an "NFL Head Physician", except he is a “team doctor.” (quite a feat in itself, but why the lie? Can’t anybody be what he or she really is?)
Sorry, for having you read this and I know some parts were quite disturbing.
But, I have had it. I don’t blame anyone. They know what they did as do I.
But, I will no longer live in an apartment where I mostly live in silence since there is no one here who wants to speak to me.
I have lived with that all my life.
I no longer have any more room for pain.
It is no coincidence that their Uncle is coming on my son’s birthday and you can be sure their Mother will ask if they can come over on a non-visitation day for the party.
I will say yes.
I’ll pretend it’s my birthday and do what I always have done on Dec. 30th or Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.
Some traditions can come in very handy.
My father would never drive me anywhere for anything, and as far as vacations, I remember two.
I remember them like they were yesterday. My Aunt and Uncle sitting at the kitchen table in Hack’s Point, MD and me being 8 years old, I wanted to be with them.
Except they wanted to get as drunk as possible. My Uncle would say things like, "Why do you go play marbles in traffic on Island Road," which was a four-lane highway. Real funny. Uncle Joe, the bastard of all bastards.
The second vacation was about 1968; I will never forget this one.
The world was much like it is today. Uncertainty, after a short period of hope in '64 that died with J.F.K.
After Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King were killed in '68, the U.S.S.R invaded Czechoslovakia, which made everyone predict nuclear WW3.
You would think that would be enough for a 13 year old, but my parents had more in store.
I will try to be brief and not too graphic, but they sat at that kitchen table drinking until they could barely see.
My parents kitchen table drinking had digressed to a game of finishing a bottle of whiskey, and the one who got the last drop picked whose wife he would have sex with. Not in a future rendezvous, but in the same house where I was standing, observing, not a child for long.
So, as my Uncle took my Mom upstairs, My Aunt Franny, who will always be a saint, because she at least resisted until her husband threatened her with physical violence, finally left with my Dad to go over to my Uncle's house to fulfill the drunken-black contract that Satan made sure her name was unwillingly attached to.
Being thirteen, I know what I saw, but still could not believe it, so I went downstairs and over to my Uncle's house to confirm it.
I didn't feel very loved or valued; just worthless, nor did I speak of it for years.
What worth did I have if my own parents would display such a disgusting example of low-life behavior in front of me?
So, if you fast forward to when I met my wife. I had no intention of getting married. I knew nothing about how to respect a woman or be a good parent or husband. Those lessons were not taught at my house.
After I was living with her and since she became pregnant by purposely not taking her birth control pills, Colin was born and of course, once I saw him, I could never ever leave him.
Her mother suggested putting him up for adoption since I did not want to get married, but I would never let my son go. He was mine and I loved him with all my heart, whether I was married or not.
My second son, on the other hand, was planned since it was one of the short windows in time when I was with my wife, that she didn't complain about something I was doing or missing her family.
I didn't make it any easier, since my drinking elevated with her constant complaining.
Of course, not realizing why I acted out over the years, I finally did see a psychologist in a effort to save my family, since I really did love my wife and my two perfect sons.
The therapist suggested as an exercise that I write letters to my parents which I would never mail, so I could say anything I wanted. But, as is my way, I mailed them anyway.
When I talked about the incident at Hack's Point, she denied it at first and then said, "Everybody was doing it." That made me even more angry.
I ended my letter saying "that I would appreciate the names of some of the other kids whose parents acted like that, since I could really use someone to talk to right now."
After reading the letter, she went back to denying it. My brother Danny saw things and I suspect others knew too. You can ask Danny if I am making it up.
We had moved back to her hometown and because of both of our drinking, it was decided I had to leave. Her parents bailed her out and were content to let me disappear.
I worked anywhere I could to pay for a crappy apartment and make sure I paid my child support.
When I smashed my ankle riding a bike to work because there was no other way to get there, I still made sure I took my kids to either movies or to the mall each of my precious two days to get them.
I bought them Pokémon cards and anything else I could afford.
I also went to AA meetings and slowly recovered, but not fast enough.
Her mother was now calling the shots and in her opinion, I was not worth any more chances.
I would be lying if I said there was not some enjoyment is seeing that she missed her own shortcomings while trying to remove me from the picture.
But, the inevitable divorce said I could only see my sons 4 days a month, and my ex-wife read that as the letter of the law.
Everyone else from their Aunts and Uncles, and any one of my ex- wife’s friends spent much more time with my kids, which made me live in a city I hated for kids I loved.
I could have moved to Philadelphia and maybe when they reached a certain age, you would have wanted to find me and be with me, but I tried to do what my Father didn’t do; what I thought Father’s should do.
Since those weekends rarely fell on birthdays, the mathematical chances that I would see my son’s on their birthday was every seven years, actually about once in their lifetime until age 16.
The same happened with other holidays. Thanksgiving is not a weekend, nor is the many school holidays, so I was becoming a guy named Dad who was not part of their life and that’s the way their Mom wanted it.
I paid them for report cards just so I could see them, even though the court ordered I should be given copies.
Whenever I asked for extra days, I was flatly told no. That would interfere with their family days.
My Ex also made a serious attempt to get my sons to call and treat her short-lived fiancé as their stepfather to further distance me from them.
When my Ex told me my son had picked the fiancé to help him do a soapbox derby for cub scouts, I just crumbled. She had won.
That victory was short-lived since her DUI's quickly amounted to four and no driving meant no job, no job meant she would lose custody of the kids she had drug through every drunken hook-up and numerous broken promises.
When her eventual alcoholic breakdown came, a breakdown I had warned her parents about for over two years, my sons had nowhere to go.
I was overjoyed that I had enough money to take care of them and make sure they knew they were going to college without the burden of a loan upon graduation.
What I didn’t count on was that years and years of no real contact made you want to be with the people you grew up with.
You would rather go to dinner and vacations with their Aunts and Uncles.
After two vacations where they obviously were too uncomfortable to say no to, they wanted me to act like her. Stay in my room and don't bother them.
That was what a parent was to them.
I thought I was being unduly sensitive until I researched what I thought were great vacations in Florida and also one where we would go white-water rafting.
When I presented the plan, they both passed. Just didn’t look too interesting was the answer I got.
They did ask to spend some time in Atlanta with their Aunt and Uncle during school vacation to which I gladly agreed.
I discussed a trip I planned that we could go on when they returned. Visiting Florida and even a white-rafting trip. They said they would rather not.
I remember being transported back to being a 13 year old boy whose parents could care less what he did, when they told me of the great vacation they just had with their Aunt and Uncles, which included white water rafting as well as a drive to Florida.
So, here I sit in an apartment where no one talks to me other than, “what’s for dinner,” or “I need a new computer” and have a son spending $20,000 a year on an engineering course that he was talked into by his in-laws since they claim their Dad was an engineer.
Except, he was not an engineer, just like their cousin is not an "NFL Head Physician", except he is a “team doctor.” (quite a feat in itself, but why the lie? Can’t anybody be what he or she really is?)
Sorry, for having you read this and I know some parts were quite disturbing.
But, I have had it. I don’t blame anyone. They know what they did as do I.
But, I will no longer live in an apartment where I mostly live in silence since there is no one here who wants to speak to me.
I have lived with that all my life.
I no longer have any more room for pain.
It is no coincidence that their Uncle is coming on my son’s birthday and you can be sure their Mother will ask if they can come over on a non-visitation day for the party.
I will say yes.
I’ll pretend it’s my birthday and do what I always have done on Dec. 30th or Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.
Some traditions can come in very handy.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
I HOPE THEY LEARN
I have tried many times to tell my sons not to make the same mistakes I made.
I would hope that I could at least leave them enough money to finish their college education, but it seems less likely with each day.
If I do, I hope they feel the same way I feel about it.
That it was the only decent thing I have ever done in my entire life.
I would hope that I could at least leave them enough money to finish their college education, but it seems less likely with each day.
If I do, I hope they feel the same way I feel about it.
That it was the only decent thing I have ever done in my entire life.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
QUICK SAND
Everyday, it feels like quick-sand.
Deep, thick and the harder the try ti extract yourself, you more you sink.
Deep, thick and the harder the try ti extract yourself, you more you sink.
Monday, June 16, 2008
2008 Father's Day
I actually finally had a real Father's Day.
<------It started like this
(breakfast made for me by my sons)
and later we went out to dinner.
Just when I thought that was it, they gave me a movie that they bought me and we all watched together.
One of my greatest days ever.
Of course, their mother called to try and ruin it by guilting them into leaving me to go see their Grandfather, and when she said,"what about Grandpop?," they replied, "What about Dad?"
Yeah, what about Dad!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Taxi! Taxi!
I went to work yesterday and planned to pick my son up and bring him home for his spring break.
It is a short one, just under two weeks, but I was really looking forward to seeing him again.
When we got home, I asked if he could have dinner with me and a friend.
He said he talked to his Mother and he was going over to his grandparents and he would not have time to have dinner with me.
I'm glad I drove 6 hours so he could blow me off for Easter Sunday.
He should see his Mother on Easter. I was just asking for an hour or two for dinner.
I guess I had my time on the drive home.
It is a short one, just under two weeks, but I was really looking forward to seeing him again.
When we got home, I asked if he could have dinner with me and a friend.
He said he talked to his Mother and he was going over to his grandparents and he would not have time to have dinner with me.
I'm glad I drove 6 hours so he could blow me off for Easter Sunday.
He should see his Mother on Easter. I was just asking for an hour or two for dinner.
I guess I had my time on the drive home.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I move on, slowly, through the muck.
I am forced to travel, and with my 15 year old son home alone at times, it is very hard to concentrate.
I have some people looking in on him, but I can't shake the guilt I feel not being there.
Of course, he says he in fine, but again this summer, he will take off to visit other relatives for the summer and go places and do things that I asked him to do with me and he declined.
I will pay his college and keep him clothed, but there are others who he really wants to be with.
I wish I could accommodate him.
I am very tired of running my health and mind into the ground for someone who wants to be anywhere, except with me.
I am not angry with him. This is just a re-run of my own childhood, except it was my parents who wanted to be anywhere but with me.
I have some people looking in on him, but I can't shake the guilt I feel not being there.
Of course, he says he in fine, but again this summer, he will take off to visit other relatives for the summer and go places and do things that I asked him to do with me and he declined.
I will pay his college and keep him clothed, but there are others who he really wants to be with.
I wish I could accommodate him.
I am very tired of running my health and mind into the ground for someone who wants to be anywhere, except with me.
I am not angry with him. This is just a re-run of my own childhood, except it was my parents who wanted to be anywhere but with me.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Christmas Blues
I had only heard about it, but I now know firsthand what it is all about.
It is an all-encompassing depression that zaps the mental as well as the psychical energy of your body.
I don't know if it is the expectation that this holiday is about to be ruined like every other one in the last few years, or I just have too much on my mind.
Even when I am able to remember important tasks, using a mind that is working like a rust encrusted engine, I am finding it an almost impossible challenge to do it well, on time, and without checking and re-checking the results.
If I had a prayer, I would pray that this doesn't affect my holiday gifts, and my girlfriend is not upset by the $1200 Espresso machine that I bought for her dog. Just kidding, I didn’t buy an Espresso machine for anybody, much less one that costs $1200. (Sorry folks, since it took me about 15 minutes to write the last paragraph alone, I tried a little humor. I forgot one important point. When you have to explain the joke...)
My ex's relatives are visiting from Atlanta and my youngest son asked if he could go over on Friday night since his Uncle was driving in from Atlanta. He has not seen him since the summer and since I had shopping to do, I had no problem with him going. He said he would be back Saturday.
Since we are scheduled to spend Christmas Eve together (Monday) so he can spend Christmas Day with his Mother and her family, I told him that he would not come back as he promised on Saturday, but he would return on Monday, and only then to retrieve his gifts and leave again.
Before he left, unbeknownst to me, he dismantled the computer modem and took the equipment needed so he could play his video games, leaving me to come home and attempt to locate the spare parts to re-assemble the system so I could get online.
Saturday has come and gone.
Maybe I just expect too much. Is that the Christmas that other single Fathers experience with their children?
It is an all-encompassing depression that zaps the mental as well as the psychical energy of your body.
I don't know if it is the expectation that this holiday is about to be ruined like every other one in the last few years, or I just have too much on my mind.
Even when I am able to remember important tasks, using a mind that is working like a rust encrusted engine, I am finding it an almost impossible challenge to do it well, on time, and without checking and re-checking the results.
If I had a prayer, I would pray that this doesn't affect my holiday gifts, and my girlfriend is not upset by the $1200 Espresso machine that I bought for her dog. Just kidding, I didn’t buy an Espresso machine for anybody, much less one that costs $1200. (Sorry folks, since it took me about 15 minutes to write the last paragraph alone, I tried a little humor. I forgot one important point. When you have to explain the joke...)
My ex's relatives are visiting from Atlanta and my youngest son asked if he could go over on Friday night since his Uncle was driving in from Atlanta. He has not seen him since the summer and since I had shopping to do, I had no problem with him going. He said he would be back Saturday.
Since we are scheduled to spend Christmas Eve together (Monday) so he can spend Christmas Day with his Mother and her family, I told him that he would not come back as he promised on Saturday, but he would return on Monday, and only then to retrieve his gifts and leave again.
Before he left, unbeknownst to me, he dismantled the computer modem and took the equipment needed so he could play his video games, leaving me to come home and attempt to locate the spare parts to re-assemble the system so I could get online.
Saturday has come and gone.
Maybe I just expect too much. Is that the Christmas that other single Fathers experience with their children?
Friday, November 16, 2007
Home from College
My son wanted to come home for the weekend and I told him I could pick him up on Friday and take him back on Sunday.
He said when he got home, he would like to see his Mother on Friday and then come home so we could go out to dinner on Saturday and he could be close to his friends who he wanted to see.
After calling her and letting her know his plans, she insisted he come over on Saturday instead and stay all day. I canceled everything else so my day was ruined but I was glad I would get to see him on Sunday.
On Sunday, he stayed in his room with his brother and his best friend until he had to get ready to leave since his ride was coming in about two hours.
Realizing that we never had our dinner, he asked if we could go to McDonald's or something before he left.
I reminded him we had dinner plans, which he canceled and told him I was really tired of having everything we planned ruined by his Mother.
I told him to just do what he wants. I just don't care anymore.
He will be asking me to come pick him up so he can come home for spring break soon.
He said when he got home, he would like to see his Mother on Friday and then come home so we could go out to dinner on Saturday and he could be close to his friends who he wanted to see.
After calling her and letting her know his plans, she insisted he come over on Saturday instead and stay all day. I canceled everything else so my day was ruined but I was glad I would get to see him on Sunday.
On Sunday, he stayed in his room with his brother and his best friend until he had to get ready to leave since his ride was coming in about two hours.
Realizing that we never had our dinner, he asked if we could go to McDonald's or something before he left.
I reminded him we had dinner plans, which he canceled and told him I was really tired of having everything we planned ruined by his Mother.
I told him to just do what he wants. I just don't care anymore.
He will be asking me to come pick him up so he can come home for spring break soon.
Birthday dinner...or not
My son was supposed to go to dinner with me and my girlfriend until I told him it was Saturday, which is the day we always do things.
"Can't you change it?" was his reply. He told me his Mother told me he had to go to his Grandparents for his cousin's birthday party. (A 5 year old girl)
I told him that was the day we were going out and he knew it, and why should I always have to change my plans for somebody else.
He told me he would tell his Mother he was going with us.
I insisted that he do that right away since it was not fair to her to tell her at the last minute.
The day of the dinner I asked him if he had talked to her and he said yes. I asked if she was OK with it and he said, "I'm going with her, she told everyone I would be there."
The "guilt trip." I thought by now she would have suffered enough guilt of her own to be dumping it on someone else.
But, she always surprises me.
I went to dinner with my girlfriend and had a nice dinner. I asked a friend for a recommendation and it was quiet and relaxing.
"Can't you change it?" was his reply. He told me his Mother told me he had to go to his Grandparents for his cousin's birthday party. (A 5 year old girl)
I told him that was the day we were going out and he knew it, and why should I always have to change my plans for somebody else.
He told me he would tell his Mother he was going with us.
I insisted that he do that right away since it was not fair to her to tell her at the last minute.
The day of the dinner I asked him if he had talked to her and he said yes. I asked if she was OK with it and he said, "I'm going with her, she told everyone I would be there."
The "guilt trip." I thought by now she would have suffered enough guilt of her own to be dumping it on someone else.
But, she always surprises me.
I went to dinner with my girlfriend and had a nice dinner. I asked a friend for a recommendation and it was quiet and relaxing.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Selfish
My oldest son asked me to take him to open a bank account since he is leaving for college soon.
I made time to do it, but before we left he had to call his uncle to ask him what he should ask about.
I make twice what his uncle makes, but I know nothing about opening a checking account.
Then, afterwards, I asked him if we could stop at the DMV so I could get new tags for my car. He asked how long it would take because he felt I should take him home first so he would not have to wait.
I made time to do it, but before we left he had to call his uncle to ask him what he should ask about.
I make twice what his uncle makes, but I know nothing about opening a checking account.
Then, afterwards, I asked him if we could stop at the DMV so I could get new tags for my car. He asked how long it would take because he felt I should take him home first so he would not have to wait.
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