Christmas Blues

I had only heard about it, but I now know firsthand what it is all about.

It is an all-encompassing depression that zaps the mental as well as the psychical energy of your body.

I don't know if it is the expectation that this holiday is about to be ruined like every other one in the last few years, or I just have too much on my mind.

Even when I am able to remember important tasks, using a mind that is working like a rust encrusted engine, I am finding it an almost impossible challenge to do it well, on time, and without checking and re-checking the results.

If I had a prayer, I would pray that this doesn't affect my holiday gifts, and my girlfriend is not upset by the $1200 Espresso machine that I bought for her dog. Just kidding, I didn’t buy an Espresso machine for anybody, much less one that costs $1200. (Sorry folks, since it took me about 15 minutes to write the last paragraph alone, I tried a little humor. I forgot one important point. When you have to explain the joke...)

My ex's relatives are visiting from Atlanta and my youngest son asked if he could go over on Friday night since his Uncle was driving in from Atlanta. He has not seen him since the summer and since I had shopping to do, I had no problem with him going. He said he would be back Saturday.

Since we are scheduled to spend Christmas Eve together (Monday) so he can spend Christmas Day with his Mother and her family, I told him that he would not come back as he promised on Saturday, but he would return on Monday, and only then to retrieve his gifts and leave again.

Before he left, unbeknownst to me, he dismantled the computer modem and took the equipment needed so he could play his video games, leaving me to come home and attempt to locate the spare parts to re-assemble the system so I could get online.

Saturday has come and gone.

Maybe I just expect too much. Is that the Christmas that other single Fathers experience with their children?