I HOPE THEY LEARN

I have tried many times to tell my sons not to make the same mistakes I made.
I would hope that I could at least leave them enough money to finish their college education, but it seems less likely with each day.

If I do, I hope they feel the same way I feel about it.
That it was the only decent thing I have ever done in my entire life.

QUICK SAND

Everyday, it feels like quick-sand.
Deep, thick and the harder the try ti extract yourself, you more you sink.

2008 Father's Day

I actually finally had a real Father's Day.

<------It started like this

(breakfast made for me by my sons)

and later we went out to dinner.

Just when I thought that was it, they gave me a movie that they bought me and we all watched together.
One of my greatest days ever.

Of course, their mother called to try and ruin it by guilting them into leaving me to go see their Grandfather, and when she said,"what about Grandpop?," they replied, "What about Dad?"

Yeah, what about Dad!

Taxi! Taxi!

I went to work yesterday and planned to pick my son up and bring him home for his spring break.
It is a short one, just under two weeks, but I was really looking forward to seeing him again.
When we got home, I asked if he could have dinner with me and a friend.
He said he talked to his Mother and he was going over to his grandparents and he would not have time to have dinner with me.

I'm glad I drove 6 hours so he could blow me off for Easter Sunday.

He should see his Mother on Easter. I was just asking for an hour or two for dinner.

I guess I had my time on the drive home.

I move on, slowly, through the muck.

I am forced to travel, and with my 15 year old son home alone at times, it is very hard to concentrate.
I have some people looking in on him, but I can't shake the guilt I feel not being there.

Of course, he says he in fine, but again this summer, he will take off to visit other relatives for the summer and go places and do things that I asked him to do with me and he declined.

I will pay his college and keep him clothed, but there are others who he really wants to be with.

I wish I could accommodate him.
I am very tired of running my health and mind into the ground for someone who wants to be anywhere, except with me.

I am not angry with him. This is just a re-run of my own childhood, except it was my parents who wanted to be anywhere but with me.