I move on, slowly, through the muck.

I am forced to travel, and with my 15 year old son home alone at times, it is very hard to concentrate.
I have some people looking in on him, but I can't shake the guilt I feel not being there.

Of course, he says he in fine, but again this summer, he will take off to visit other relatives for the summer and go places and do things that I asked him to do with me and he declined.

I will pay his college and keep him clothed, but there are others who he really wants to be with.

I wish I could accommodate him.
I am very tired of running my health and mind into the ground for someone who wants to be anywhere, except with me.

I am not angry with him. This is just a re-run of my own childhood, except it was my parents who wanted to be anywhere but with me.